|Me:||i think i'll just get enough to have all my school loans paid off, which is perfectly fine by me
|Me:||then with whatever is left over i'ma buy a paddle boat, ribs for days, and a new computer
|Tom:||AND A BOUNCE HOUSE
|Tom:||AND A LIFESIZE REPLICA OF A NINJA TURTLE
|Me:||AND A REAL FALCOR TO FLY AROUND ON
|Tom:||AND A MOVIE-REALISTIC MASK RESEMBLING LOUIS GOSSET JR FROM ENEMY MINE
JUNGLE GUTS: IF I MADE A RAP VIDEO →
If I made a rap video
It would be filmed while camping.
Someone would be talking on a rectangular rock like it was a cell phone
Someone would be counting leaves like they were money
Someone would be motor-boating two big rocks
Someone would be planking on a really big rock near a waterfall.
someone would be drinking water from a waterfall and when they drank water from the waterfall they could see rainbows and everyone watching them drink could see rainbows in their hair and their hair would look like Cyndi Lauper.
Excerpt from Comics Therapy that I made for the Eagle Rock Mini Comic-Con earlier this month. Also an accurate example of what kind of food is eaten at my house.
Crispy Eggplant Parmesan BUT! instead of battering the eggplant slices in egg, flour and bread crumbs, use a dry Falafel mix and lightly fry slices in olive oil till outside gets to a light crisp. Follow the rest of the recipe that says to transfer pieces to baking dish and bury them in freshly grated parmesan cheese with a sprinkle of anise seed to complement the chili pepper and sun dried tomato.
Falafel mixes usually have coriander in it which give falafel the aromatic smell despite being fried. Parmesan cheese is complemented by the tart sweetness of cooked tomatoes and basil, so I figured the coriander and whole anise would work themselves into the taste somehow. It’s worth experimenting if you want to take a familiar Italian dish down a SEEDY alleyway.
Sometimes I feel as if I have surgically implanted lenses in my eyes that only point out how much something differs from me economically and ethnically (see also: total prejudice) when watching films that predominantly feature rich, white people.
Example: Melancholia. It was a visually interesting film, but despite all the praise Dunst got for her totally absorbing role as someone suffering from depression— to me, she just came off as privileged and self-aggrandizing. Watching her slog around being a bitch to her concerned sister, ride horses with a constipated face, and drag ass around a huge mansion tucked away in an idillic Swedish countryside— was something I bafflingly could not connect with. Her depiction of someone severely depressed felt patronizing and self-motivated— unconvincing and miles away from Sylvia Plath’s classic depiction of a girl stuck in a bell jar. If you haven’t seen Melancholia, it’s basically about a huge rogue planet crashing into Earth and as a result, the degrading relationship between two sisters— and maybe #whitepeopleproblems. Dunst’s character unconvincingly believes that the world is an evil place and deserves to die, even though all that’s been revealed to us on how evil the world is to her, only amounts to her amazing incapacity to enjoy anything (aka WET BLANKET.)
Maybe my bias was also due to the fact that I had not completely cleansed my brain pallet before watching the film. I had just been reading articles about Du’a Khalil Aswad, a 17 year old girl who was stoned for 30 minutes despite desperately pleading for her life. Her body was tied to a car and dragged down the street to be later buried in a shallow grave next to a dog. No one was prosecuted for the crime because her village unanimously agreed that she deserved to be stoned as punishment for converting to Islam and falling in love with someone outside their tribe.
So— science fiction drama about the world ending, versus reality and maybe some reasons why we should get blow’d up by another planet. I guess the lesson learned here is that I just watched these things in the wrong order?
So after having my brain explode over watching El Bulli - Cooking in Progress last night, I’ve basically committed myself to taste-testing everything I cook in my kitchen, scientifically cataloguing my flavor findings, and then looking for random-ass shit to pair said findings with. This culinary practice is also known as, “Making Food No One Else Will Eat, Except Myself Out of Total Embarassment” which dovetails nicely with my already questionable cooking experience.El Bulli and it’s world famous chef Ferran Adrià go above and beyond creating nothing short of edible laboratory experiments with food, but it wasn’t so much his mastery of making foam meat that sparked my interest to find different flavor combinations, it was more of his scientific and pragmatic approach to understanding flavor that impressed me. Basically all you have to do is:
- Use one vegetable and/or fruit and experiment with different ways of cutting and preparing it. Record your results and take pictures to build your own reference catalogue.
- Do the same practice with a meat or legume.
- Download Niki Segnit’s The Flavor Thesaurus to help you avoid totally disastrous combinations. Like if you decide combining Mentos and soda is worth a try. IT IS NOT.
Surprising yourself and others with new flavor combinations has always been the pursuit of a good cook. Though I feel that anyone who has been stoned out of their mind has already inadvertently stumbled into this realm of pairing unlikely foods together— and on some rare occasions, a little inhibition/total lack of judgement pays off. I once while totally squinty-eyed, combined sweet mayonnaise (Kewpie brand), whole wheat spaghetti, and herring roe in a salad bowl and it was AMAZING! I later discovered that this is somewhat of a popular snack in Japan and not just a testament to how awesome of a cook I can be when my brain is sitting in a sauna of weed.
Anyhow, point of this story was to highlight my first successful attempt at flippantly throwing shit together in a pan based on my knowledge of individual flavors and possible relevant combinations.
Tonight’s accident: Caramelized chicken marinated in light soy sauce, anise seed, ginger, garlic, mango chutney, in a sweet sake reduction. And just because I was curious and had a bunch left over from last night: Fennel seed and cinnamon fried brown rice. The fennel and anise have light licorice flavors that pair with sugar and seem to work well with chicken and the sour/salt of soy sauce. This is what I did:
- Marinate one cut up chicken breast in soy sauce, powdered ginger, powdered garlic, and whole anise seed. Mix together till well coated, cover in plastic wrap, and set in fridge for about 30 mins.
- In a pan melt about a teaspoon of butter under medium heat and add whole fennel seed and cinnamon until fragrant. The amount is to your taste but when you add the cooked brown rice the intensity of the fennel and cinnamon will mellow out a little, so if at first it all smells really strong, don’t worry because the rice sponges most of it up. Move around in pan till the rice is crispy. Adding salt will bring out more fennel flavor, and if you add sugar it compliments the cinnamon more. I haven’t tried adding both because there’s already enough crap as is in this thing.
- Remove cooked rice from pan. Add 2-3 teaspoons of white sugar and stir around until it melts/caramelizes. Add chicken and stir fry till the color of the meat turns into a golden honey brown. Reduce heat to a simmer and mix in about half a cup of the sweet sake and a tablespoon of mango chutney (or any sweet jelly that has a slight acidic taste.) If you don’t have sweet cooking sake, adding a tablespoon of white vinegar diluted with some water works too.
This is probably the longest post I’ve written on this blog and will be the first of many. Originally I started this thing as more of a complaint jar when I worked at the most soul-crushing gallery in the country but times have happily changed now and this thing has evolved into more of a random thought bin as I now work from home, take care of an old jewish lady, and think about things to eat 95% of the time.
So here’s to more cooking like Mr. Magoo.
Durchsehen, Exp. 01 (augmented perspective) is an installation by Daniel Franke ( daniel-franke.com ) and Markus Kison ( markuskison.de ) which includes a camera fixed onto the concrete cube sculpture that recognizes the presence of human faces within its scope. By random selection, the c++ application focuses on the bystanders and adjust its rotation; tracking the eye movements of the viewer. The software computes the corresponding angle of view projecting onto the cube the very section of the space the sculpture is blocking from the viewers eye; thus making the cube appear transparent.
D-2010. Concrete cube, PC, 2 projectors, webcam, servo motors, microcontrollers, C++ applications, tripods. 4 x 4 x 2 m.
"Go peddle your facts somewhere else, Learny McBookerton."
- a comment in response to possible scientific theories on how the moon may have been formed.
hehe, Learny McBookerton. #LIKEABOSS
Putting the ASS in CLASSY!